ISSUE 1.43

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Yup: Sex Robots

Sex robots, doppelgangers, nutrient-deprived plants and plastic-filled salts, gloomy octopuses, and more.

All right, yeah, clickbait--these two sexbot articles are stubs. But boy, you're gonna click on them anyway, aren'tcha? (Who wouldn't? I didn't not.) Honestly this one's mostly a bummer about how our pollution is ruining our food and also gloomy octopuses. But be warned! There are seven non-human nipples visible in this issue. In case you're at work. Anyways! Here's a cool track for you to check out with Lana Del Ray + A$AP Rocky + Playboi + Snakehips (remix)--Summer Bummer, with Lana's signature sound and some nice hip hop and rap vibes thrown in. The summer bummer here is that summer's departing. (Kidding, I live in Texas. I'm thrilled.)


Humans Will Fall in Love With Their Sexbot Doppelgängers

Would you fuck you? My answer used to be absolutely immediately and without a doubt but back then I didn't really consider the deep, intense psychological implications of literally fucking myself. Like, I'd definitely do it in the abstract--why wouldn't you?--but nowadays I think it might just break my brain. Would I... would I need to break up with myself afterwards? Would I need to explain that I'm just not really in a position to date, and I really need to work on myself? Uh, them? Me? You know what I mean, don't you, ... you... me? Ow, my brain.


Hackers could program sex robots to kill

As a tweet I can't find said, "if this scares you i have some news for you about men". (The issue I have with this is that I unfortunately cannot program men to kill; they just do it.) This, naturally, is a pretty far-out there possibility when we actually have the capability to make convincing, locomotive robots that can both fuck us, kill us, and maybe fuck us to killed. This sounds like the start of a terrible sexploitation horror movie--actually, I'm SURE this exists. And now I have googled "sexploitation horror murderous sex robots". Um, no, I'm not going to share the results with you. Google for it yourself.


There's Blood In The Water In Silicon Valley

Here's a nice read on skepticism towards tech giants and the attempt to view them more like utilities. I was having a conversation with a friend about what mandates I would impose if I were world emperor, and one of them was that massive tech companies who use automation to displace jobs would need to submit to a labor tax. The percentage of money saved from replacing the automated would be funneled into public goods and services. I'm into the idea of something that is much better planned than this and not dependent on my being Great World Emperor of the World. Although seriously, I'd be a pretty chill world emperor.


Sea salt around the world is contaminated by plastic, studies show

So just how killing does this do us? (I have transcended grammar.) It's mostly coming in through our salt. The findings are that we ingest upwards of 660 "particles" of plastic per year if we eat 2.3g of salt per day--but Americans for sure eat a shitton of salt. Here's the kicker: "the health impact of ingesting plastic is not known . . . because [scientists] cannot find a control group of humans who have not been exposed." And it's all sea salt, not any region of the ocean in particular. But hey, you know--maybe this is why we're here; to deliver the planet plastic.


The great nutrient collapse

Here's the ts;dr (too scary; didn't read): CO2 accumulation in the atmosphere is resulting in an 8% average decline in concentration of minerals like calcium, magnesium, potassium, zinc, and iron while the ratio of carboydrates to minerals are going up within 130 varieties of plants. I mean, hey, 8% isn't that bad, right ................. ?


Scientists discover an underwater city full of gloomy octopuses

me too, thanks - OK, I don't think the octopuses are literally bummed out, but that's a great name and headline. Article's pretty much a stub, but it's pretty fascinating to hear about the city (called Octopolis) fighting it out due to underwater territorial concerns. "Researchers suspect that limited den space might have led to the crowded conditions". This makes me feel better about eating them since they're not better than us. (Kidding. Octopuses are really smart and we probably shouldn't eat them.)


NASA crashed the $4 billion Cassini spacecraft into Saturn. It was awesome.

pour one out for Cassini, noble space voyager, who gave us knowledge of Saturn and the deep reaches of space, who did more than it set out to do, who was braver than it thought it could be. RIP